Loneliness after the breakup.

You’ve walked into a new year proclaiming that this one will be different! You’ve set new goals. Started practicing new habits. You are determined to make this the best year yet…without him. It all sounds great when you say it aloud, so what is that dark heavy place you keep finding yourself traveling into?

I can assure you that what you’ve been feeling is completely normal. A pretty smile could be covering brokenness the same way a pretty red apple could be hiding a worm inside. Let’s give each other grace today. Ooo I’m going to make that my next IG post. Anyway, back to the conversation. Loneliness happens. And when it does, it sucks. So how do we get out of that icky place and back to normalcy?

Step 1. Admit what you’re feeling.

…either to yourself or someone else. Acknowledging the head space that you’re in is the first step to getting through it. That means no more pretending to be okay. No more walking around like an empty shell. You can admit that you don’t have it all together. It’s okay if it still hurts.  Tell someone. Even if it’s just your journal, especially those days when you feel like your journal is the only one listening.

Step 2. Seek change.

I’ll be the first person to tell you that it is okay to feel whatever you’re feeling now, but I will never encourage you to stay there forever. At some point you have to make yourself change something. It could even be the smallest thing, like getting up earlier and taking a walk outside. Get some fresh air. Replace your sad playlist with uplifting music. Call a friend and force yourself to get out of the house. Write. Sing. Pray. Dance. ANYTHING. No, you’re not going to want to do it but I also know you’re not going to want to be this way forever.

Step 3. Keep going.

Whatever you decided to change in step 2, keep doing it. If it’s not working, find something else to do that you can tolerate. This could be as simple as reading a book instead of laying on the couch and drowning in movies and food. Don’t give up. The change comes slowly and you probably won’t even notice it creeping up on you.

It is totally possible for you to remove yourself from this hole you’ve fallen into. You just have to be willing to do it. All those changes you wanted to make and goals you want to achieve are still there. This will not last forever I promise you that much. Let me leave you with this…nothing changes, if nothing changes.

How are you feeling about this? I’d love to know if you are able to relate. Talk to me.